


If I, May

by spiderstanspiderstan



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Domesticity, Ficlets, Fluff, shameless fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-26 02:07:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14391990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spiderstanspiderstan/pseuds/spiderstanspiderstan
Summary: Little ficlets on life as a super-parent.





	If I, May

Teenagers, traditionally, had difficult friends. 

In this case, difficult was an understatement. 

“He's, um, the Hulk?” Peter was trying and failing to seem nonchalant. He had half-dragged a shirtless man into their living room, and seemed to think this was completely ordinary. They were both smudged with dirt and bluish goop. They’d been fighting bug-looking genetically engineered things; May’d seen them on the news. "Not right now, I mean, just. Sometimes? Recently. He was very recently the hulk." 

“Sorry about this,” said the goddamn actual Hulk, unsteady on his feet, like he might faint “Do you have, uh, juice, or...something  with sugar?”    


“Sure, just- hang on a second.” May had  _ just  _ got back from work, and now this. “There’s V8 in the fridge, and there might be apple juice. Peter, did you drink all the apple juice?”

“V8 is fine,” said the Actual Hulk. “Thank you for...this.” 

Peter abandoned the Actual Hulk on the couch, and trailed after her into the kitchen. He was leaving sticky, indigo footprints. His hair was gummed with the gunk as well, and he overall looked pretty tragic.

“I dunno,” He said. “Can I have peanut butter?”  

“Wash your hands first.” May got the V8 out of the fridge- there was no apple juice left- and realised she was too late. Peter was already shoving a dollop of peanut butter in his mouth, alien-goopy hands and all. 

“Sorry.” he said.

May sighed, and got the Hulk a glass. 

  
She should really stop referring to him as the Hulk. Peter’d yammered on about him for  _ hours,  _ before, Doctor Bruce Banner and his borderline miraculous work. 

“Doctor Banner?” She asked, bringing the carton and glass with her.

He was huddled, almost, in the corner of the couch. His shoulders hunched, hands in his lap- taking up as little space as possible. 

“As someone with...A lot of PHDs and superpowers,” She said, trying to lighten the mood. “Please tell Peter to wash his hands.” 

The Actual Hulk glanced over his shoulder to where Peter was standing. 

“Oh, no, Spider-man,  _ no _ , do not put mutated arthropod blood in your mouth,” he said, with an element of actual panic. “You don’t know what could be in there.”

“I got a healing factor.” Peter shrugged. “Also, peanut butter.” 

“Peanut butter is not a counter-argument.” Bruce Banner- because it was only polite to use his _name_ \- said. “Wash your hands before you catch some kind of… bug plague.” 

“That peanut butter is probably a biohazard now.” May added. 

“Definitely,” Banner said. “Spidey, stop eating the biohazard.” 

“But- I-” Peter said, setting his hazardous peanut butter on the counter. “You’ve knew each other for   _ two seconds  _ and you’re ganging up on me?”  

Bruce Banner hazarded a smile. 

“Yup,” May said. “Now go wash your hands.” 

Peter went. 

There was a second’s awkward silence, in which May watched an Avenger, in her slightly messy living room, drinking vegetable juice. 

Not a single part of the situation made sense. She marked it down as one of the weirder days in her life, and, naively, assumed it to be an isolated event. 

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on my new fic tumblr [here!](http://na-no-why-mo.tumblr.com)


End file.
